Beneath The Stairs
by fictionalcandie
Summary: Sirius, Remus, and Peter weren't really sure why they were hiding beneath the stairs with James. They were sure he must have had a reason, though. And then they heard his reason yelling at him. Gee, this should be a fun explanation...


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Harry Potter books, world, or character. I do not even own Sirius Black, much as I would seriously like to. I'd give you the usual drivel about who _does _own them, but I think you all know that pretty well by now. And you're probably getting tired of it, anyway. Goodness knows, _I'm _tired of this disclaimer already...

**A/N: **Here you go; my silly, fluffy, almost-irrational fic about Lily and James, which was probably only written so I could practice my lovely Sirius. :-P This story is for my 'beta', the magnificent Madame Empress Tove, and for all of my other online friends, especially those in the RPG, because they're all wonderful. You know who you are, I'm sure. :-)

This is , though not my first ever Harry Potter fic, the first fic I've ever posted anywhere. So, be a dear and tell me what you think of it, all right?

**o.o.o.o**

"Potter!"

As the yell reached the ears of those hiding under the staircase, James cringed. Petter, Sirius, and Remus now understood _why _they were where they were.

"Whoops," was all James muttered. Remus looked at him.

"What did you do now, Prongs?"

Innocent expressions, while more believable than Sirius's, had never been James's forte. "Do? Me? What makes you think I did anything, Moony?"

Remus held a hand to his chin as if rubbing a goatee. "Well, let me see..." he began, with feigned pensiveness. "Someone's yelling for you."

"And they sound angry," added Peter helpfully. James glared.

"That someone is Lily," continued Remus, as if Peter had never interrupted.

"Oh, really? I don't think I'd noticed," James responded, half sarcasm and half mock-innocence.

Sirius grinned pleasantly. "Yup. And by the by, mate, it might be of interest to you to note that said girlfriend has receded into pre-dating habit of yelling-whilst-using-last-name."

Eyeing Sirius blankly, James made a questioning sort of grunting noise.

"He's right, you know," Peter piped up again in the same helpful tone.

"Gee, thanks, I_ never_ would've caught that," said James, completely dropping the innocence, his voice fairly dripping sarcasm.

His friends pretended not to notice, however.

"Get out here_ now_, Potter!" The voice sounded again. It seemed closer this time.

Acting as if there wasn't an annoyed seventeen-year-old girl stalking his friend, Remus leaned casually against the wall, regarding James -- who was hunched up in the corner directly underneath the flight of stairs -- curiously. "So, what did you do to her?"

Still helpful, Peter supplied, "I haven't heard her this mad since Sirius stole her 'journal'." Which earned him a sharp kick in the shins from Sirius.

James ignored them, instead peeking his head out and looking around for his redheaded girlfriend. "Actually, I didn't do anything to her."

"Right," agreed Peter, "Sure. Of course not."

"And I'm in love with McGonagall."

"Some how, I doubt that," countered Remus, trying to eye both James and Sirius at once.

Abruptly, James yanked his head back inside their hiding place. "No, seriously, I didn't."

"All right. I'll believe you," stated Sirius. This earned him distrustful looks from all three of his companions.

"But --"

Collective sighs.

"-- I_ would_ like to know what_ possible_ alternative explanation you have for --"

"_Pot_-ter! I know you're around here_ somewhere_! I_ will_ find you!" came Lily's scream.

"-- that," Sirius finished, with a grand gesture in the direction from which the sound originated.

"Oh, yes," muttered James, sheepish, "_that._"

Remus raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything, while Peter just looked at James blankly.

"Let me get this straight," reasoned Sirius, "You admit you're responsible for --" another gesture out towards a still yelling Lily -- "that?" James nodded. "And yet you_ haven't done_ anything?" Sirius demanded.

James nodded fervently. "Exactly!" he averred, beaming pleasantly at his best friend.

"I know --" but Sirius broke off and rubbed his hand over his eyes. Then, just as Remus was going to speak, he proclaimed, "Wait, you've lost me."

"It's simple, really," James explained eagerly.

Doubtfully, Remus eyed him. "Oh?"

"Yes," persisted James, head bobbing franticly. "You see, it's the fact that I_ haven't_ done anything that's got us hiding."

They were silent.

James sighed. "Think about it." He went back to looking out from under the steps.

The heads of the other three swung round to face each other. Still, it was several moments before anything was said. Remus spoke first. "So..."

"Valentine's Day?" offered Peter.

Remus waved a dismissive hand. "Not even Christmas yet."

Sirius rolled his eyes, and Peter grunted sheepishly. "Anniversary?" inquired Sirius thoughtfully.

"We've got about ten months until_ that_, Padfoot," Remus rebuked, sounding slightly offended. "Oh."

Peter chose that point to speak again. "Lily's birthday?"

Sirius_ and_ Remus rolled their eyes this time. "Don't be daft, Wormtail," Sirius scoffed. "That's in the spring."

"Than_ what_?" Peter asked plaintively.

"I don't know," Sirius responded, staring at the back of James's neck. "Prongs?"

"Mumble mumble mimble wimble," whispered James, his head still out in the corridor.

"What was that?" queried Remus, amused.

James brought his head back in quickly. "I said, she thought I was, er," -- a cough -- "_fraternising_ with one of her friends."

Closer to Lily than either of the other two, Remus saw fit to get slightly defensive for her sake. "And_ were_ you?"

"Mumble."

"Come again?"

"_Yes_."

An astounded gasp rose from every one of the three._ James_ would_ never_ cheat, especially not on_ Lily_, right? Right?

James's eyes were fixed on the wall above their heads. "Oh, don't act so surprised," he spat, clearly annoyed.

"B-but... James!" choked Sirius. "_Why_?"

All of a sudden, a light seemed to go on inside of James's brain, and his eyes snapped down and focused on the face of his best friend. "Wait, I don't -- I mean..."

They waited.

James turned an interesting shade of puce.

Sirius decided to_ stop_ waiting. He hurried James up a bit. "What did you mean?"

"What do you think I meant?" James shot back, eying them warily.

"Well, that you were -- that is --" began Remus.

"That you were cheating on Lily with one of her friends," interjected Peter, helpful again.

To their surprise, James merely sighed wearily. "Yes, that's what_ she_ thought, too."

Confused by this, Sirius waved his arms about wildly. "Stop! Halt! Go back! Rewind!"

Naturally curious, the others complied, watching him with interest. "What?" asked James.

"You lost me again."

James rolled his eyes and threw a piece of parchment at Sirius. Remus spoke for him, "Here's the Map; find thyself."

"Or let_ me_ do it," added a new, authoritative voice forcefully from right outside in the corridor. "After which, you can explain why you're hiding my boyfriend under a set of stairs."

James gulped.

"Uh, respectfully, ma'am," Peter said, "_he_ was the one hiding_ us_ under a set of stairs."

Lily eyed him. "Point taken. Either way,_ someone_ still has some explaining to do." She turned her semi-hostile gaze on James. "And I have a feeling that someone is_ you_, Potter."

James ground his teeth together. "_James_, Lily. My name's_ James_."

"Not at the moment," she responded crisply.

He sighed, as if in defeat. "Fine then, Evans. What do you want?"

Lily opened her mouth to speak, but stopped as she realized what he'd said. Eyes widening, an almost stricken look crossed her face.

"I..." And then her expression hardened.

This did not escape Remus's notice. "Right, we should be going."

But before Remus could succeed in herding the others out, James anxiously cast Sirius a pleading look, which seemed to say, 'No, Padfoot, don't leave me to face_ her_ alone.'

"Sorry, mate, you have to get yourself out of this one without me," he whispered, shooting his best friend a conciliatory look before ducking out into the hallway.

James grumbled. "Well,_ Evans_? Ready to torture me yet?" he asked scathingly.

"Er, no," Lily mumbled in return.

James looked surprised. "You're not?"

"No," she said more clearly.

"Uh, then why are you here?"

Unexpectedly, Lily blushed. "To apologize, actually."

"Oh? Really?"

"Yeah..."

There was silence.

"So, you believe I didn't? Cheat on you, that is?" James ventured at last.

"Yes. I talked to Mary, and she said that you only wouldn't tell me what you were doing because you wanted to surprise me," said Lily quietly. James didn't speak, merely inclined his head in assent.

"But then, she also told me what you were really doing, even though she said you wouldn't want her to,' Lily continued, apparently trying to get_ him_ to do the talking.

He sighed. "You_ really_ weren't supposed to find out about that."

Smiling softly, Lily brushed a lock of hair away from her face. "I know." James couldn't help returning her statement with a grin.

They stood staring at each other for several minutes, neither moving nor talking.

Sirius's head appeared. "You know, it negates the usefulness of eavesdropping if you never say even one syllable about what it is you're fighting over," he informed them.

"_Sirius!_"

With a grin, he withdrew his head, calling, "Love you, too!"

Both remaining people laughed. "He's a git," complained Lily fondly.

"Yeah. It's a good thing I never told him about that conversation. He'd find a way to make it swell his head," James agreed.

"I heard that!" Sirius yelled, though his voice was faint.

The two laughed again, then fell into an uneasy silence.

Suddenly, they burst out in unison, "I'm sorry."

**o.o**

While walking towards the Common Room, Remus eyed Sirius suspiciously.

"What?" demanded Sirius defensively.

"Oh, nothing... Just, how did you know they said something about you?"

Sirius smirked. "I didn't."

Remus looked confused. "Then how -"

"It's an art, Moony," Sirius explained loftily.

Peter burst into giggles.

**o.o**

And all was well in the world.

**o.o**

Except for Voldemort, but that's all right.

**o.o.o.o**

**Post-story A/N:** Okay, there you go. I've received a few questions about several things that I don't actually cover in the story.

This fic takes place in late-November to early-December.

The 'something' James was talking to Mary about was/is a special Christmas present for Lily. No, you may not know what it is (not entirely sure myself, actually, lol). I might make a sequel to this, wherein you do find out what it was/is. Just to amuse myself, of course.

Yes, I am insane.

And please, don't forget to review.


End file.
